World of Wendorfs: October 2012

In honor of my daughter's first birthday yesterday, I decided I wanted to write down and share the story of her birth. I have a bit of an obsession with birth; I love to read birth stories and marvel at the huge blessing Heavenly Father has given women to have the ability to create and nurture life within our bodies and give birth to babies. Our bodies are truly designed for this purpose and it is beautiful. So in light of this passion of mine, I want to share Vashti's story, gory details included. You have been warned.

I won't go into the details of why we chose to have a homebirth. If you want to know, let me know and I'll be happy to tell you personally. Needless to say, August and I felt inspired that this was how we wanted to bring our children into this world. Through prayer and inspiration, we came to this decision and found our wonderful midwife Christine. She is a true friend and blessing.

My due date was October 12. I was pretty confident of the accuracy of this date since we were pretty sure of the conception date. As the day came and went, I got frustrated. Not because I was impatient for this to be over with, but because people kept texting and calling me, wondering if I had had the baby yet. I didn't mind going overdue, but the constant (at least what seemed to my very pregnant mind to be constant) nagging was driving me crazy!

That Saturday, we had planned on going to our friends' house for dinner. August went to work, I worked on sewing to keep busy. I was either working on a blessing dress or cloth diapers. When August got home from work around 4 pm, as I stood there talking to him, I had a realization that my Braxton Hicks contractions felt sort of different. As we talked, I timed them, looking at the clock behind August. I realized they were regular! They were about 5 minutes apart, lasting for 30 seconds. I informed him, and we realized this could be it :) Being a first-time mom, I figured it wasn't anything to get too excited about since usually labor lasts a long time the first time. I figured we could still go to dinner and I wouldn't pay too much attention to the contractions, especially since it would probably take a day or two before anything really happened.

We got ready as planned, and before we left I went to use the restroom as pregnant women often do. I noticed some bloody show when I was finished. Now, this got me a little excited. From previous conversations with my mom about her birth experiences with us kids, I realized this could mean I was actually in active labor! Wow. I texted Christine to let her know I had had bloody show and that we were going to a friend's house for dinner. I just wanted to give her a heads up in case things progressed, because I figured we would probably have the baby sometime the next day. She told me to keep her apprised and go have fun.

At our friends' house, we had a really nice dinner. They made us these delicious fajitas and we had a nice time visiting with them, except the contractions kept coming. While I was trying to enjoy a nice meal, I was feeling nauseous every time a contraction would come, and I kept going to the bathroom, hoping it would help it feel better. We hadn't told them I was in labor, because I didn't want to pay too much attention to it. Finally, we let them know I was in labor just in case we needed to bolt. We then proceeded to have a fun conversation about her labor experience and about our plans. Finally, I was too uncomfortable and we had to make our excuses and leave. Luckily, our timing was great, because we were borrowing their video camera to film the birth and we had previously forgotten to get it from them. We were able to get it then, and we headed straight home.

As we headed home, August trying not to drive too fast, and me very uncomfortable in the car, trying to cope with contractions, it dawned on us that at this point most couples are rushing to the hospital. We were rushing to get home :)

Once we got home, I got the exercise ball out and sat on it to relax. August rushed about trying to get things tidied up a bit. I texted my midwife again to let her know of the progress. She asked me to time the contractions and let her know their length and how close together they were since I hadn't really paid attention to that while we were at dinner. She suggested I get in the shower, since that could help me relax and give us an idea of far along things were. We did, and while I relaxed under the warm water during contractions, August timed them for me. They were 3 minutes apart and 1 minute long. For those of you who don't know, usually they tell you when they're 5 minutes apart and lasting 1 minute to head to the hospital. We were past that. I let Christine know and she informed me she would head over.

At this point (about 8pm) I called my mom to let her know what was going on. I still figured that at best, we would have the baby sometime early the next morning. I wasn't sure if she wanted to come over and just hang out and possibly sleep over or if I should just call her when it was closer. But I was concerned that I wouldn't know and she would end up missing it. She decided to head over and hang out. She took her time, stopped and got us some Gatorade and icecream.

Things progressed pretty quickly from there. I moved the exercise ball to the baby's bedroom where we had set up the birthing tub and Christmas lights to provide beautiful but not bright light. The contractions were really close and I was starting to moan through them. I tried several positions to see if it helped me cope with the discomfort. I tried laying on my side in the bed, kneeling and leaning on the ball, the toilet, standing. Nothing provided relief except sitting on the ball, leaning forward on the dresser while August put pressure on my hips. Later, he told me he could see my lower back bulging where my tailbone must have been bulging out to make room for the head.

I asked him to give me a Priesthood blessing. In the blessing I was told I would "have a quick and difficult labor" but that I would be blessed to "be able to have the ability to endure it" and "have the strength necessary to overcome each contraction." This was a huge comfort to me. But we still figured, ok, a quick labor: that means sometime in the middle of the night as opposed to the next afternoon!

Right around this time (about 8:15pm), Mom arrived and started cleaning up the kitchen. I briefly (very briefly) had the thought to be embarrassed because the kitchen was a mess and overflowing with dirty dishes. Bless you Mom! I continued to labor, August helping me through each contraction with pressure on my hips. Soon after, the hot water ran out. This was a problem because we were still trying to fill the birth tub and it had about a foot of water in it. It is an inflatable pool that is about 3-4 feet high! August and my mom started heating water on the stove to be able to continue to fill the pool! That was probably the only part of the whole thing that was like in the movies, boiling water :)

Contractions were getting really close now. Watching the video we took, I was struck with amazement as I realized how close they were. Pretty much right on top of each other. I got in the tub because I figured it would help me cope better. The midwife still wasn't there. At around 9:30pm, I had a contraction that at the end of it a felt/heard a pop. It was the weirdest sensation because I wasn't sure if I had felt it or heard it. I realized that my water had just broken and at the end of the contraction, I let out an involuntary grunt. I knew from the birth class we took, that that grunt was a little push! HOLY CRAP! I turned to August, who was behind me in the pool, and said "You've got to be kidding me!" He had no clue what I was talking about, but I was thinking, "You've got to be kidding me! My water just broke and I'm pushing!" And the midwife still wasn't there. Apparently, she and her apprentice took their time and got dinner on the way :)

During the next contraction, I heard the door to the apartment open and realized they had finally arrived. They came in; Christine saw and remarked that I had my "labor face" on. She asked me how I was doing. I informed her that I was pretty sure my water had just broken and that I pushed involuntarily. She seemed pretty nonplussed. She listened to the baby's heart tones with a hand-held doppler for a moment, and after listening to me go through a contraction or two, she turned to Betsy (her assistant/apprentice) and said "We need to get set up as fast as possible!" I proceeded to have contractions with maybe 30 seconds break inbetween and grunting a little at the end of each one. It was like throwing up, but down. You can't control it and your body just does it.

The funny thing was Christine would ask questions like "Is the water still going?" and I would answer them in between contractions. I directed them to where the towels were and where to find whatever they asked for. At one point, Christine told me "You just have a baby. We'll work it out." Finally she asked August "Has she always been this talky or did she go through a serious phase?" August replied that I had always been this talky. You are taught in class that there are "signposts" that can give you an idea of where in labor you are. Usually you stop talking between contractions and get serious. I didn't until 15 minutes before the end :) But that's just me, I guess.

Christine reminded me that I could reach up and check myself and see what I could feel. First time mom = no freaking clue! I reached up (which is quite difficult to do around a giant pregnant belly), and all I could feel was bulgy squishiness. I had no idea what I was feeling and I told Christine that. She asked if I wanted her to check me. I didn't answer immediately because another contraction hit. I hurried to adjust my position as quick as I could in between contractions so that she could check me. I had been kneeling and leaning on the wall of the tub. While trying to change positions, August kept asking me questions. I don't remember what he asked me, but my response was a very irritated "I don't know" because I couldn't think about anything else all of a sudden. This would be one of those signposts :) I had another contraction and Christine told me to only push if I had to. I responded that I was only doing what my body was doing on its own. I couldn't help it.

When she finally could check me, she reached her finger in, and said "Oh my Gosh! the head is half a finger in!" She told me to reach in a feel it and I realized that the squishiness I had felt before must be the baby's head! This was so unbelievable because I thought it would be hard not squishy and soft. She smiled and told me "As hard as you want to push, whatever feels good. There's no rush." She suggested that I feel the head as I pushed because it might be helpful. I did that for a few contractions and that was really cool. I couldn't believe that was her head.

Meanwhile, we still didn't have a lot of water in the tub :) Mom was bringing in water heated on the stove as fast as she could so we could fill it up quickly. We needed to make sure there was enough water in the tub so that the baby would be born in the water and not hit air first. Through the whole thing, in between contractions, I was still talking and smiling a little. Totally crazy!

Sometime shortly after this, I switched positions into a half kneeling, half hands-and-knees position. August was in front of me helping to support me when I needed, Christine was behind me. August had to stay in the pool with me so that he could displace the water enough to increase the water level! Christine kept telling me to take it easy, but I couldn't help it. I wasn't consciously pushing, my body was doing everything and I had no control. It was a surreal feeling. She told me to put my hand down there because the head was coming out, but I couldn't. My arms were tired and weak from laboring in a position that used them to support my weight. And now I was kind of on hands and knees, and I needed all my strength to use them to hold myself up. Christine very gently guided me, suggesting one thing or another to help. Every once in a while, I would worry about if my butt was in the water enough, or if we had enough water. She told August there were several inches of head out already. I continued to push and soon after, I had one contraction that I can honestly say was the only "painful" one I had. It was a sharp stinging pain, and I thought that must be the start of the head coming out. Then Christine said "That was the face. One more push and the head is out." My reaction was "Seriously!? Really?" I couldn't believe that in so short a time, the head was out when I thought I had just started. My mom said it was going a lot faster than she thought it would, and my response was "You're telling me!?"

They used a flashlight and checked the baby's color to make sure everything was fine. The color was good. I pushed one more time for the shoulders and one more for the rest of the body. About 30 seconds after she told me the head was out, Christine said to reach down and grab my baby!

"Reach down and grab your baby"

Baby!

I reached into the water and grabbed my baby, sat back and just marveled! Mom was dodging and weaving, trying to see the gender of the baby. Up until this point we didn’t know if we were having a boy or girl because the baby hadn’t been cooperative at any of our ultrasounds. She announced that it was a girl. Vashti was very alert and looking around. Everyone was amazed that she had her eyes open. She had had her eyes open from the moment she was in the water. I told her I knew she was a girl. I put her on my chest and we put a towel over her. Christine noted that she had good tone, but that her heart rate was a little low. She was breathing, but not very well and hadn’t cried yet. We talked to her and rubbed her back, trying to get her to breathe better. Christine made the call that we needed to give her some breaths with the bag and mask. We put her on a tray Christine had set up, which was easier said than done since she was still attached to her umbilical cord. I had to maneuver into a crab-like position, on hands and kneeds but with my back to the floor so that they could give her some breaths. They did that 8 times, and Vashti finally let out a very pissed off cry. She cried for about 30 seconds and that was it. The whole time she was still connected to me, and we continued to rub on her and talk to her.

After she started to breathe better, we decided to move to our bedroom and bed since the water wasn’t very warm. I very carefully climbed out of the tub, with a baby in my arms, and still attached at the umbilical cord. We got comfy in our bed, and the placenta came soon after. It was placed in a bowl so Vashti could get the last of the blood from it. We waited until the cord had stopped pulsing completely before cutting the cord.

Daddy holding Vashti for the first time

About an hour and a half after she was born, Christine conducted the neborn exam. Vashti was perfect. She weighed 7lbs 9oz and was 20 inches long. She was born at 10:10pm on 10/15. She had a full head of dark hair and looked very much like her daddy.

Being weighed

She has continued to grow and be healthy, and is now a very happy and intelligent little girl. I am so grateful for such a beautiful experience. It was so sacred and special and exactly what I had hoped for, in the peace and comfort of my home. I have made friends in my midwives and will be forever grateful to them for helping me have the birth I wanted.